By Hailey Nguyen
“Self-awareness” is often labeled as just another leadership buzzword. But is it really? Or does it hold real value in shaping effective leaders? Let’s explore how self-awareness strengthens problem-solving, enhances creative thinking, and boosts relationship-building.
The Power of Awareness Over Automatic Behavior
As human beings, much of our behavior is automatic. You say, “Good morning, how are you?” and I instinctively reply, “Good morning! I’m great. How are you?” – without much thought. The same goes for brushing our teeth. We learned how to do it young and have followed the same routine ever since. In many cases, these automatic behaviors serve us well. But what happens when they don’t, and we do not get our desired outcomes?
Self-awareness becomes powerful when you’re not getting the results you want. Instead of immediately blaming external factors, take a step back and reflect on your thoughts and actions. Blaming others gives them the power, and gives yourself the excuse not to take action. That’s disempowering. True power begins with self-reflection.
Ask yourself:
- How am I contributing to this issue?
- How are my thoughts, ideas, judgments, and behaviors creating this problem?
- What could I do differently to achieve a better outcome?
Case Study 1: Overcoming Burnout Through Self-Awareness
One of my clients was overworked, overwhelmed, and on the verge of burnout. She blamed her demanding boss, team, and family for her exhaustion. And in her world, they did have expectations – ones she felt she had to meet, even at the cost of her personal time.
For years, she had been operating on autopilot, saying “yes” to everyone. Initially, it worked, but over time, it became unbearable. She wanted to help colleagues, excel at work, and support her family, but she wasn’t a machine designed to take on endless tasks.
Through self-reflection, she realized that her automatic “yes” was a major factor in her burnout. Instead of blindly agreeing to every request, she began pausing to ask herself:
“If I say ‘yes’ to this, what am I saying ‘no’ to?”
This simple awareness helped her make conscious decisions rather than react out of habit. It wasn’t about saying “no” to everything. It was about being intentional with her choices.
Case Study 2: Transforming Leadership Through Reflection
Another client struggled with anger management at the office. He frequently lashed out at his technicians for asking what he deemed “dumb” questions. His team, fearing his outbursts, avoided open communication. Morale was low, and turnover was high.
In our session, we examined the underlying thoughts that fueled his behavior. He saw his team as disengaged, but he failed to recognize his own role in creating that environment. His yelling had become an automatic, unconscious response.
I pointed out:
“If you want to engage, support, and lead your team, you need to think and act differently. Your current approach isn’t working. What could you think and do differently?”
Once he acknowledged his role in the team’s struggles, he had the power to change it. With self-awareness, he was able to shift his mindset and build stronger, more trusting relationships with his team.
The Real Power Lies Within You
Too often, we focus on wishing others would change. While external change is sometimes possible, we waste too much time waiting and hoping for it. The only thing that will make a difference is taking action. The real power lies within ourselves.
Consider this, instead of bending people to fit into your expectations, start by reflecting on how you can think and act differently. Change begins with you, and that’s where the real power is.